Macrander Late Thanksgiving Poem

It's that time of year when plump, ready turkeys start to disappear, When the Macrander family near and far,

Start gassing up the commuter car.

For Emily, Thanksgiving day was held in Sugar Land,

Though why Aggie always gets the first invite, I don't quite understand.

Aggie followed around cooks and sat in the sun all day long,

Because the bond between her and Kaitlyn's cat was never strong.

Sarah flew from Denver to be with the rest of the clan,

And told the family about her new boyfriend, Steve, not Stan.

In Baton Rouge, Todd and Nick were kind enough to host the whole group,

Though in such close quarters, Dad struggled to find a private place to...stoop.

We always cherish the moment we get to watch Dad cook,

Because we know these secrets are found in no book.

After Thanksgiving, Jarrod and Emily did arrive,

But only to hop in the car and head to New Orleans - another drive.

On the hunt for a restroom, we went into the mall,

And found a tree to take our Christmas photo by, oh so tall.

As with custom with every trip,

Each Macrander goes to Todd to get a clip.

After several days of family fun,

And starting to feel like we each weighed a ton,

We gathered around the apartment stairwell,

While Todd ran to apply some last minute hair gel,

And took this lovely family photo.

When my dog ate (or tried to eat) Turtles

The part where I left her alone Aggie, my twenty-pound mutt, spent some time in her early years out on the streets of of Baytown.

In every other possible way she is a civilized dog, except for this one thing. Whenever Aggie is left alone, she dashes to whatever food is around and devours it. This is often a problem because, well, it's not like I leave out Dog Food. It's always People Food and not the good, healthy kind. Insert story about the time she ate a plate of  Ghirardelli brownies.

Last night, I decided to go visit a friend and planned to be gone only for an hour, so, thinking she could be trusted and that I didn't have any food out, I did not crate her.

The part where  I was wrong

I returned home to Aggie poking her head through the curtains, wildly wagging her tail. She met me at the door. I should have known something was up.

In my living room there was a package of Chocolate Turltles on the couch and one on the floor - I wouldn't find the package in my bathroom until later that evening. Luckily the packages were somewhat chewed on, but otherwise intact. She wasn't able to make her way into any of them. Thank goodness, or we would have had another shit storm. Insert story about the time she ate a plate of  Ghirardelli brownies.

You see, what makes this funny is that the box of Turtles was on my kitchen table which is pushed up against the wall. Aggie, being only two feet on a good day tall, couldn't have just reached the box. No, I'm sure it was a charade. The Little Dog must have climbed up the two chairs, jumped on the table, then walked across the table to where the box was.

And she has a really little mouth, so she must have done this three times to account for each of the chocolate turtle packages that I found. I just can't imagine what was going on in her Little Dog brain each time she grabbed a chocolate, couldn't open it, then climbed up onto the table to grab another. Or why she stopped at three. And why she didn't try harder to rip open the package.

The part where I didn't scold her

Standing there in my living room, taking this all in, all I could do was shake my head. Aggie, I guess filled with guilt, ran into my bedroom whimpering with her tail between her legs and folded into a really little ball. And I just laughed. After all, I was the one who left out the chocolate. I just never thought she'd climb the table to get to it. Or that she could smell it.

So I went and grabbed her from my room, laughing, pet her head and told her it was all "OK."