sale

Solicitation and other Girl Scout cookie crimes

As I was leaving my doctor's office today, I saw something surprising. My doctor's office is in a multipurpose business building and there on the first floor is an insurance office. Taped to that door was the form to order Girl Scout cookies.

When I first saw it I laughed. I mean, really? I guess that's one way to do it. You can't sell the cookies if people don't know you've got them. And everyone love Girl Scout cookies, right?

As the day has gone by, though, my thoughts have returned to the form taped to the door. For one, I'm not a very private person, but even I would be uncomfortable having my name, address and phone number taped somewhere out in public.

I just imagine, 'Well, you know, Janie Smith, she's a fat ass. She ordered six boxes of thin mints. Thin mints, more like fat thigh mints, am I right?'

I mean come on. Isn't this supposed to be a private interaction between me and my dealer? If not that, isn't this supposed to be a private interaction between me and a sweet child. That sounds off. But stay with me.

Girl Scout cookies are supposed to be a fundraiser for the scouts by the scouts. I was a Girl Scout, so was my sister. And every year, Dad carted our butts around the neighborhood, door-to-door, ringing door bells, meeting the neighbors and selling those darn cookies. It's cute. It's homey. It's American, for the love of God.

The image would be much less cute if my dad dressed in that darling child's outfit and rang my neighbors' doorbells. That's the thing. It's the scouts, not the parents that are supposed to pushing the Caramel Delights.

I understand that nowadays with cookies being sold at $4 a box and a vegan cookie option that times have changed. In 2014, we have stranger danger. In 1994, we had spanking danger from Mom or Dad if we didn't stop our fussing and get our shoes on to pedal cookies to the neighbors.

I don't care if your kid is selling cookies, nuts, popcorn, wrapping paper, home pregnancy tests, whatever. The point of a fundraiser is not to get the parents to take the form to work and guilt clients or coworkers into buying something.