I will report out on my trip to New Zealand in another entry in the blog, but I thought this was perfect for a funny happenings entry.
The New Zealand that I saw from the air and in the brief taxi ride from the airport into town was a phenomenal landscape of mountains, coastline, and agrarian fields that were reminiscent of Hawaii and the Lord of the Rings movies. The town of Dunedin (pronounce doon-ee-dn), though, was nothing spectacular. Actually, it very much had the look and feel of a mid-sized Midwestern city, buildings 2-3 stories high sidewalks overhung by awnings on storefronts, small businesses, etc. There was kind of a barely prosperous look to the whole thing. My hotel was about a mile from the meeting sight, so I got in nice walks each day going to and from.
Similar to the city, the people were very English, not the most attractive people in the world. It was a combination of rosy-cheeked flat- faced young boys growing into stolid George Smiley (literary reference here) older men. And, there were pinch-faced girls trending toward stout Mrs. Doubtfire matrons.
The first two days were cool, overcast, and drizzly. The weather made me glad I had taken my gortex, and, leant an even greater sense of a community in doldrums. On the third day I hung in my room catching up on email and work until about 11, then, headed out under clearing skies and warming temperatures for the walk to the conference. With the great weather, the sidewalks were packed with shoppers that I realized were beginning to get serious about the Christmas holidays. I caught the festive feel and there was a spring in my step and a smile on my face.
Walking along, I became aware of a car driving down the street with the windows rolled down and a Christmas song blasting from the radio. The jingling bells and piano of the instrumental break were from jingle-bell rock. Looking at the car I saw a grundgy boy behind the wheel and a tattooed and pierced tough looking girl hanging a cigarette out the window with a smirk on her face. Ah, the wonders of Christmas. Even the young toughs have the spirit. How nice.
As the car passed me and the music began to fade, the next verse started up. “You make my d--- swell, as I moan and yell….” OMG! Did I really hear that? As the sound of the song faded into the traffic and street noise, I wanted to turn and chase the car to see if it was real or just my dirty mind playing tricks on me. But, the rest of the day, as I tried to listen to complex talks on whale genomics and sound propagation and exposure, those two lines continued to bounce around my head.
I did a search on Jingle Bell Rock spoofs and, indeed, the song is real and I heard correctly. It is so bad that I will not post the link here. WARNING. This is pretty graphic stuff and you may not want to forever have these lyrics in your head. DO NOT listen to this at work, unless you have earphones in. Having given these warnings, I know everyone will listen. Happy Holidays.