Mexico Unlimited

October 22nd marked the departure of Todd and myself from Baton Rouge to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico on our very first international trip together. Our flight into Puerto Vallarta most definitely had either a drunk pilot or a super rookie in the cockpit the evidence was in the multiple attempts at landing.

October 23rd was our first full day and we found the tigers and parrots. We also went boogie boarding until we burned from both sun and board. That night we planned a dinner with all 16 family members that were present for 8pm. While the family was getting that together I shook Todd off my tail and ordered wine and roses to be sent to the room for 10pm. Quickly after that I gathered my cousins and asked that they take the ring and our camera to the gazebo on the pier and wait for me to bring Todd. At 7:30pm sharp the sun was setting and I had Todd in hand as we marched down the rocky jetty stopping to stare at every creature along the way, but we finally arrived in the Gazebo where I knelt to one knee and asked for Todd's hand. As quickly as I did that Todd snatched the ring from my grasp and thrust a ring toward me with a big smile and a YES!

October 24th was my quarter century birthday, which was spent with my new fiancé. We had four new arrivals bringing our group number to 20 people.

October 25th we were approached by my father to help in his proposal. Everyone in the group was given a card that told his soon to be fiancé, Tina Kelley, one thing he loved about her. My fiancé and I were the first card where Todd was the photographer and I was the navigator to get Tina around the resort to all the people and cards she was supposed to receive. The last person Tina saw was my father surrounded by everyone in the group with a rose in the sand and a ring in the hand.

October 27th Our entire crew of 20 piled into a little boat and headed across the bay to downtown Puerta Vallarta. On our arrival we noted that bathrooms cost 5 pesos to get into and everything was "almost free" according to the merchants. We also noted that everything for sale everywhere looked oddly similar to every other stands' merchandise even though each claimed to have hand made everything.

October 29th: Twelve of the bravest in our bunch headed out to the renowned Hidden Beach. We sorta snorkeled around for a bit until we hunted down and mercilessly ravaged by jellyfish. After a brief recovery onboard the vessel dubbed the "Mexican Titanic" by the crew, we jumped back into the water and were guided through a treacherous rocky water filled tunnel which served as the passageway to the beach. After we enjoyed our time on the beach the rising tide forced us out. For our return voyage we were given tequila and cervesa and watched the crew force passengers to striptease each other for entertainment...I should have filmed it.

Halloween: Ten of the best dressed including my adorable Peter pan went to Puerto Vallarta in search of a righteous good time. We managed to find ourselves in an overpriced club with table service which we then were escorted out of for our debauchery. After a few clubs/bars later we survived the night with only one casualty.

November 1st: We went on our last little excursion with a boat ride around the area in search of crocodiles. We found every shape, size, and color of iguanas in trees and rich peoples yard everywhere as if they are the Mexican squirrel. Pelicans flew overhead alongside blue footed boobies and we did run across a few crocodiles. More importantly many hours after our tour completed we went on a night beach walk. On this walk Todd stepped on a little fresh baby turtle and amidst that discovery we noticed several dozen baby turtles were covering the beach. We quickly gathered every one of them we could find and brought them all to the safety of the sea.

November 2nd we returned home completely satiated and ready to get back to normal life.

Cause for celebration

Something big happened yesterday and I will take a few moments from my busy schedule to recognize it. On the surface, it was a small thing. The U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear cases in which several lower Federal courts had found that States' laws banning same sex marriage (SSM) were unconstitutional. Ok, so they declined to hear these cases, so what? That means that the Supreme Court looked at those cases and determined that there were no issues there that were unresolved. In short, SSM is now legal in all of those states that were trying to get their laws banning it upheld AND in other states that are covered by the Appellate courts that had made these rulings. Another way of saying this is that the Supreme Court essentially said that the issue is not worth their time. BOOM! It might have been more satisfying, had the Court decided to hear the cases and officially rule on the issue, but In one decision, they determined that there is no merit upon which to challenge SSM. Suddenly the number of states where SSM is legal changed from 11 to 30. I am sure that some of these states will attempt new banning legislation and, essentially fight a stop gap war. There are also states that still have banning laws that have not been challenged, but the war of attrition has begun.

Not only are more states now in the legal marriage category, but, since the states included are many of the more populace states, we can say that a majority of the same sex couples in the country can now legally marry.

So, why, aside from just being a general live and let live as long as it doesn't hurt anybody liberal, is this cause for celebration enough for me to set my lunch chilli aside to write? I will admit to a personal journey. Like many, my view of gltb was that it was, at least, aberant, if not quite abhorent. From there, my kids and their friends showed me the path to tolerance and the joys of being the gltb "friendly" house for a bunch of high schoolers. From there, it was still a journey accompanied by some kicking and screaming to get to the full embracement that is now our lives. Somehow, the tolerant attitude was not quite as easy when the gay person in your midst is your son (sorry for that Todd).

The difficulty of this journey was, in part, a sadness that a parent feels for their child when they see a future that is not what we had hoped. As a white, male, intelligent (somewhat), affluent, middle of the road adult, I have limited experience (ok I'm short) with being reviled or legally limited for what I am. But to look down the road for my son and think that he would always be unjustly hated or dismissed by a segment of the population and would be denied certain basic rights, like choosing and forming a life long recognized commitment with someone that you love, was a sadness that was difficult to bear. I came to realize, though, that of the many ways that our children may face challenges, being gay was certainly not even close to being the worst.

In part, that is because the world is changing. I believe that, in the past, gltb people had limited choices. They could deny their sexuality and live a life devoid of sexuality or that special love that has a sexual basis. Despite the views of the catholic church, I am not convinced that this is a great option, or one that actually and truthfully works. They could deny their true sexuality and try to live a straight life. After nearly 30 years I am haunted by a memory of witnessing a man in a volvo with a child seat in the back engaging in a surreptitious hook up in a city park. How sad. They could admit their sexuality and live a life of closeted relationships, one nighters, and living on the wild side. OK, so maybe that doesn't sound that different from other youthful lifestyles, but we are programmed to pair to be happy. We also know that the wild side is not a healthy place to live for long.

So, now our sons and daughters and friends and neighbors are a bit less reviled for who they are. Gradually, they are gaining the right to openly seek and find someone to fall in love with, marry, and share a long and healthy life together (or not). When I look at all three of my kids, that is one of my greatest hopes.

And, do you know what? The world has not ended. The streets are still safe from gltb people chasing down and having their way with unwitting heterosexuals. The walls of our churches and governmental buildings are still in tact. In fact, I would say that the moral fiber of our country has been improved. The path to love has been made a bit less bumpy and a bit more feasible. Love, isn't that always a good thing? And, I am exuberant.

Always looking for my Knight in Shining Armor (Big Bend trip)

As it was getting toward evening Saturday night, Chelsea and I decided to take a walk around Marfa. This was the point in our trip where we talked a lot about life and where we see the future, faith, God and family. As we rounded a corner we saw this small stone church and Chelsea asked if we could go up to it. She was satisfied that her suspicion was true, it was in fact an Episcopal church. Chelsea was raised Episcopal and is in a period of spiritual exploration as she tries to land in her adult church. Anyway, no one was around so we tried the door. It was open. Despite Chelsea's concern that we might be tripping some sort of silent alarm, we went inside. The sanctuary was still and empty inside and seats maybe 100. It's pretty small. I told Chels that this is the kind of place I want to get married because I wouldn't be overwhelmed with the number of available seats for guests. The church windows were colorfully illustrated biblical scenes. We walked around for a few quiet moment before letting ourselves out and continuing on.

That time J and I almost killed each other in Zac Brown rodeo traffic

This year I made it to three shows at the Houston rodeo: Eli Young Band, Florida Georgia Line and then last night, Zac Brown Band.

I’m pretty sure I did more rodeo this year than I have done in my life. I learned an important lesson, too. People do “rodeo” differently. We’re always growing in our relationships, right? Learning to be better, more supportive (not submissive) people.

Well, you see, J likes to do ALL of the rodeo. I thought that meant getting there 15 minutes before the show started in time to see the Mutton Bustin’ event and then you see the show you really came to see, right? Wrong.

Apparently, some people (Jarrod) grew up with the “total rodeo experience.” What is that? Well, that means you see the entire rodeo including every buck and barrel race. But thats not it. You get there before the rodeo to “walk the grounds.” Apparently there is a livestock show and a stadium full of vendors. Think of it as the Nutcracker Market but more rhinestones and redneck. Wait. Just kidding. Nutcracker Market is both of those things. It’s just like Nutcracker Market but smaller and perhaps more cowboy hats.

Because J and I have “jobs” the last two time we went to the rodeo… It’s also worth mentioning here that J got a fantastic deal through his work on tickets. We’re not suddenly lushes who spend all out money on entertainment.

Back to the what I was saying, though. The last two times we went were on week nights. That meant that were unable to do the “total rodeo experience” and that J was totally unhappy. Both times we missed a few events and were unable to even set foot in the Rodeo Nutcracker Market. Let alone see the livestock show which is apparently also a thing people get really excited about.

So anyway, yesterday we set out early. And this time we prepared. After church we went back to J’s home and I took a nap so that I would be fully rested for the “total rodeo experience.” I even ate a wholesome meal (grabbed a peanut butter brownie on my way out the door). Fast forward. Rodeo show. J getting his nickers in a twist because we had neighbors that were not observing no talking or moving while performance is happening. The show, a day show, was out by 8 p.m.

The day before J and I had argued because I wanted to go home early Sunday and “get some stuff done at my place” (watch Parenthood on my DVR). So J was gloating at this point that as predicted the show let out before 9 p.m. and we were on our way home. Or so we thought.

Now to understand the frustration in the following scenario you must understand a few things. Number one, J has a handicap parking tag and always has, so he’s used to premium parking and not waiting very long. Number two, J doesn’t do the best with waiting. Number three, it had been raining all day long so we were wet and cranky. Number four, I’d been an irritable grouch all weekend, so on the walk back I’m sure I picked an argument about something. I honestly can’t remember or I would share.

We got into the car ready to go home and get ready for the upcoming week. We got into the car and, ugh oh, traffic was slammed to a halt. I mean no one was moving anywhere.

At this point we were both grumpy and tired and totally over hanging out with one another. Have you ever, EVER, been ticked off at someone in a CAR? THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO. Not to mention the ever-present traffic is irritating.

So we sat there in the car, both squished to our respective passenger doors not talking to each other. I don’t know about J but I’d occasionally cast a glance over his was just to make sure he was still just a mad as I was. Ha.

We sat there, I kid you not, for an hour. We sat in Zac Brown Band traffic for longer than the entire concert performance.

Eventually we waited so long that we had to talk it out. And we talked about some logistical stuff that has caused bumps in our love story. And we caught up on what’s been going on in our lives and minds. No one ever told me (I don’t think) that when you’re romantically linked to someone and spend a lot of time together that you can somehow slip into just doing and have no idea what is going on with your partner. I don’t know how it’s possible to spend time together and yet be disconnected. I guess when you’re doing you’re having less “feelings” conversations.

All in all, as it always goes, the rodeo traffic eventually let up. And a day later I’m grateful for the time we got stuck in the car, couldn’t go anywhere and had to talk out what was bothering us. So I look back over this rodeo season and think, ‘holy crap that kept us busy.’ But I suppose that you look back and talk about the time you saw XYZ band live at the Houston Rodeo more often than you talk about the time you came home from work and went to bed. So a little bit of busy in this case isn’t so bad.

Happy Monday, family. Talk to you all soon.

Christmas with Nick & Todd

We just spent 3+ great days here in Baton Rouge with Todd & Nick. It was a really special Christmas. We had great food, lots of good wine, did some shopping and sight seeing, farkled (Thanks to Sarah for introducing our family to farling) and, generally relaxed.

There are many special times for a parent. The birth (of course), first step, first goal, off to school, becoming an adult and accomplishments and honors along the way. What must rank right up there is being with your child as they cross into that special relationship that makes them whole, happy, and secure. Being with Todd & Nick feels that way. Our family is bigger and stronger.

May you always continue to grow in love and support one another as you mature as people and expand their horizons individually and together.

Thanks for a wonderful three days.

Twas a Macrander eve before Christmas eve

On the eve before Christmas eve and all through the nation, Mom and Dad were driving to Baton Rouge and trying to agree on a radio station.

Excited to visit Todd and Nick, and wave goodbye to their daughter,

Mom exclaimed, ‘Oh my! Texas couldn’t be hotter.’

So far in the trip Dad had visited his sister,

And Mom had bought some cheap shoes that dad swore would cause a blister,

Shout out to Kayla, the newest addition to us all,

Who was born at just over six pounds on Friday and oh so small.

Todd was busy cleaning, while Nick busy mixing,

Lots of treats to fill their home, Mom and Dad would surely find transfixing,

Sarah was still in Denver, though lonely was not she,

For the beauty of friends and mountains, how much better could life be?

So this morning, Emily sits at her computer not working, oh no, no,

Excited to see Jarrod and family, but more to the point Santa, ho ho ho.

God is great, Jesus is born, this is the reason for the season,

But getting to see the ones we love sure is extra pleasin’

So as we close this year before,

Let’s enjoy our moments together and plan for many more.