Mom & I had a wonderful long weekend in Seattle. The weather was fantastic, the shopping was productive, and the food was excellent. Follow mom on facebook to get a fuller idea of our weekend. That will not be the topic of this curmudgeon post. In our time out, we had repeated experiences with people exhibiting what I consider to be boorish behavior. Now I realize that there are a LOT of people in the world today and that public venues, like restaurants, pack customers in like sardines, such that we cannot help but observe the events at nearby tables, or overhear conversations that we may, or may not, want to hear. Behavior of fellow patrons crosses into the neighborhood of rude and insensitive when their conduct begins to needlessly impact the quality of my experience. It seems that many people these days simply conduct themselves in public, as if they are the only ones present, or at least, the only ones who matter.
I also recognize that I am increasingly hard of hearing. The more background noise there is, the more difficult it is for me to hear the conversation at my table, which can be irritating for both the speaker and the listener. So, in fairness, I start off with a base level of pissed off.
My first harangue against bad behavior was directed at a table of late 20 - early 30 something women. It only took a few moments to understand that these 10 women were having a party. Most of the behavior, though, was not offensive. The brief rendition of happy birthday for one of the women interrupted conversation at all surrounding tables for a minute, but it came and went. Not a big deal. The girls were having a good time and lots of conversation and laughing and posing for pictures was going on. My problem was essentially with one member of the party that clearly had never been taught the concept of an inside voice. She bellowed. She howled. She pontificated loudly and, seemingly, endlessly to the complete destruction of any chance to have a conversation. After a while, others in the party became aware of the turned heads when the banshee cried and gradually stopped engaging her in conversation.
Dinner the next night started in a similar way. Tables packed into a small space with poor acoustics. Sound levels that made conversation somewhat difficult, despite the fact that most people were being only as loud as they needed to be. There was one table, however, that attracted attention. Everyone at that table seemed to be yelling. Now it is normal that voices go up when good times are had, but there is necessary, there is normal, and there is jerk. The women at the table were loud periodically. The men were loud always and, surprisingly, far more interested in their buds than in the attractive young women who were trying hard to stay in the game. Now this was a fairly nice restaurant. Maybe it wasn't FANCY, but it was definitely 4-5 star. It was not the corner bar and, my expectation is, that people should behave accordingly. So, it was with a sense of relief when I noticed the party rise to leave. Though I should not have been, I was shocked to see the two guys stand and walk away from the table with no attention to the women. There was no pulling out of chairs, no fetching or holding of coats, not even allowing the women to go first. I suppose there is a recognition that women are capable of standing, putting on a jacket, and walking on their own. Still, the total lack of chivalry, and even attention, was amazing. I found myself hoping that these buttheads would be going home alone. A lyric from an old Graham Nash song says that " a hobo or a poet must kill dragons for a bride."
So, remember, there are others around you. Use your indoor voice. Be nice to your ladies, or, expect that your men be nice to you.